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"Who the hell is Rubén González?"
There's a ton of mail addressed to him. Bills, magazines, a post card from Amarillo, Texas. All addressed to Rubén González. Is that your neighbor's name? You've been calling him "Tom". Is it too late to play it off like a joke? Like you've been calling him by the wrong name several times a week for the last seven years as a hilarious joke?
You start to get angry. Why didn't he ever correct you? If you think about it, it's his fault for not calling you out. The anger feels good. Who does he think he is? Thinks he's the king of the neighborhood with his fancy name and his 2013 Accord and his lawn that he cuts occasionally. His reign of terror ends today! You--